1
00:00:02,080 --> 00:00:04,080
My dad wanted a fun-for-all, not a
funeral.

2
00:00:04,120 --> 00:00:06,560
He didn't want to be remembered as
some bloke with cancer,

3
00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:09,640
but as someone who wore criminal
amounts of double denim.

4
00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:13,360
Shannon helped plan the funeral,
because she adored Dad,

5
00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:16,800
and because she was doing a BTEC in
Event Management at Watford College,

6
00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:19,920
so she made Dad's funeral her final
practical assessment.

7
00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:23,080
An invigilator actually came to the
service.

8
00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:25,720
Christ, Shan, what ARE you wearing?

9
00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:28,040
I took inspiration from Britney at
the BMAs.

10
00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:31,440
She's made you look like a dickhead.
Don't be mean about Britney, Nan.

11
00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:35,840
She's had a rough ride too.
Shannon's going to put Dad's weed
grinders in his coffin.

12
00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:38,320
So he'll always be high up in the
sky.

13
00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:41,440
Do you remember when you was 12, and
we went to Camden Market,

14
00:00:41,480 --> 00:00:43,480
and that lad tried to sell you some?

15
00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:46,520
Yes, I remember. Jack came running
over to me and Laurie going,

16
00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:49,520
"See that bloke over there in the
green leaf Bob Marley t-shirt,

17
00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:51,960
he's just tried to sell me an ounce
of spunk."

18
00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:55,080
I meant skunk. I'd take spunk or
skunk right now.

19
00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:59,040
OK, guys, right, now...

20
00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:05,480
Are you all right? Yeah.

21
00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:10,200
Are you all right?

22
00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:13,240
Yeah. Yeah.

23
00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:17,160
Are you all right?

24
00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:19,200
In?

25
00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:23,200
Yeah.

26
00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:31,400
Are you all right?

27
00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:34,280
Yeah.

28
00:01:34,320 --> 00:01:37,640


29
00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:41,960

friends...

30
00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:45,280
Why does it say "ankle"?

31
00:01:45,320 --> 00:01:48,600
He was my ankle. Ankle Laurie.

32
00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:52,360
It's uncle.

33
00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:54,400
U-N-C-L-E.

34
00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:56,440
Silly cow.

35
00:01:57,760 --> 00:01:59,760
Shit, shit!

36
00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:05,120
Mum, where do you think he is?

37
00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:11,120
He's sat right in front of me.

38
00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:14,080
He's in your curly hair,

39
00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:18,360
and your pointy ears, and he's in
your little smile too!

40
00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:23,280
You just need to make sure you
become like him in there as well.

41
00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:27,800
OK?

42
00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:30,680
Can you move your hand now? I've
got sweet chilli sauce in my eyes.

43
00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:34,000
GROANING

44
00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:36,040
Are you going to come down the local
tomorrow?

45
00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:38,920
Of course I am. I live for the pub,
I dream of the pub.

46
00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:40,960
I am the pub.

47
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:44,600
What's the Welsh word for pub?
Pub. Oh, fuck!

48
00:02:44,640 --> 00:02:46,960
Alison Hammond is dead!

49
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,000
Oh, God, sorry, Leisa.

50
00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:52,640
She's not dead. She were just on
This Morning flirting with Ryan
Gosling.

51
00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:56,880
My pet fish Alison. She... She
jumped out of the bowl.

52
00:02:56,920 --> 00:02:59,920
Oh, mate, I'm sorry, but do you want
to...

53
00:02:59,960 --> 00:03:01,960
Sorry.

54
00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:06,800
Sort of killed it?

55
00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:09,760
No.

56
00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:18,880
The second funeral I'd ever been to
was a Viking burial for Alison.

57
00:03:18,920 --> 00:03:21,080
Jules had to be there to give
clearance

58
00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:23,280
on anything involving a naked flame.

59
00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:26,600
It's a lot, isn't it, just seeing a
dead body?

60
00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:29,480
It's not a dead body, Jules, it's a
fish.

61
00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:32,600
Sorry I walked in on you yesterday.
Don't worry.

62
00:03:33,920 --> 00:03:37,160
So are you now on meds which mean
you can...?

63
00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:40,240
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's all
good, yeah.

64
00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:44,520
Well, we're gathered here today

65
00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:46,560
to say ta-ra

66
00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:50,360
to the one and only Alison Hammond.

67
00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:53,920
And even though I didn't meet her
personally,

68
00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:58,880
from what I gather, she was very
dear to very many people.

69
00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:01,560
Much like her namesake!

70
00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:03,600
Fuck! Fuck's sake.

71
00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:07,600
Right, it's now time for our song of
remembrance.

72
00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:10,840
No, no, no, no. That's enough,
that's quite enough. Come on.

73
00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:13,240
Can we please go and get our grades,
Jules, and remember

74
00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:16,640
we're here in the hope of pursuing
fulfilling careers, and not burying
Alison!

75
00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:18,680
One, two, three, four...

76
00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:21,880

Oh, my God...

77
00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:25,200


78
00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:27,240
Is this not the Gogglebox theme
tune?

79
00:04:27,280 --> 00:04:30,440


80
00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:34,880



81
00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:40,120

Oh, my God, no, no, no, no, no!

82
00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:44,080
A 79. He gave me a 79. That's a
first. It's a top grade.

83
00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:48,200
A 79 is the equivalent of when a pop
star dies and their album goes to
number 1.

84
00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:51,040
It doesn't really count if you
haven't earned it. Fuck's sake!

85
00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:54,240
Oh, God, Corinne, you can't always
get the highest grade, all right?

86
00:04:54,280 --> 00:04:56,280
You just need to chill out. I am
chilled, Danny.

87
00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:58,520
You are never chilled. You could
lighten up.

88
00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:00,200
Oh...

89
00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:03,760
What have you got, Jackie?

90
00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:06,760
Oh, fuck! What? I got a 2.2.

91
00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:09,800
A Desmond. Nice one. Tim keeps
giving me the harshest marks.

92
00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:11,840
Look, this is my solution, all
right?

93
00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:14,920
I haven't handed any work in to Tim
so he can't give me harsh marks.

94
00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:19,200
Um... What a fabulous solution to
not getting bollocked.

95
00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:21,560
Well, if you don't like it, man up
and say something.

96
00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:23,760
I don't proscribe to the term "man
up".

97
00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:27,480
OK, I'm sorry. Stop being such an
over-sensitive damp cloth, then.

98
00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:30,520
I'm not a damp cloth. You are a bit
wimpy. You are quite sensitive.

99
00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:33,400
No-one would have called my dad a
wimp,

100
00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:35,440
so I plucked up the courage to
confront

101
00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:37,920
quite possibly the fittest man I'd
ever known by name.

102
00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:39,960
H...

103
00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:44,240
GIVES SMALL LAUGH

104
00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:48,360
How can I help you, Jack? Hi.

105
00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:50,400
Well, it's just...

106
00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:53,200
my mark, I...

107
00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:57,440
I fear my writing style has perhaps
been a bit...

108
00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:59,480
undervalued.

109
00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:04,520
Oh. Well, your piece was quite
shite.

110
00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:08,560
Right. It was wanky almost.

111
00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:10,600
It needed pragmatism, OK?

112
00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:14,480
Because this is a news story, all
right, not a spoken word ad for a
bank. Yeah?

113
00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:16,520
(THINKS) He's so fit when he's being
a prick.

114
00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:20,200
So this week, for the court report
assignment, try to keep the emotion
out of it, OK?

115
00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:22,240
Just report the facts. Can you do
that?

116
00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:25,680
Yeah, will do. And I'd like you to
take a long hard look at my briefs.

117
00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:28,640
What? I need you to take my briefs
much more seriously.

118
00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:30,760
Ideally you'd know them inside and
out, OK?

119
00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:33,320
Read them, study them...
Sniff them.

120
00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:35,360
Remember them. Briefs...

121
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:38,520
Is that OK?

122
00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:42,680
Yeah. And can you tell Danny to
actually hand some fucking work in,
please?

123
00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:57,000
Hi, guys. Hi, Ash. It's the
soggy bottoms!

124
00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:01,080
Danny, were you buying drugs? No!

125
00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:03,120
Leave it out, will you? I am,
actually.

126
00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:07,280
I'm an ethical dealer, guys. I
donate 20 per cent of my profits to
Frank.

127
00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:09,680
Exactly. It's herbal. It's basically
good for you.

128
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:12,600
I'm going to bake us some edibles,
and we'll all go down the pub.

129
00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:14,680
What's the special occasion?

130
00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:16,720
Well, I just want to get a bit high.

131
00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:23,720
Yeah. Not for me. I actually wanted
to get a solid start on my judiciary
knowledge before we go to court.

132
00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:27,120
Look, what am I always telling you
about loosening up?!

133
00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:29,920
I've got us a foolproof plan which
means I am never going

134
00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:32,240
to have to set foot inside a
courtroom again.

135
00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:35,320
My dad used to hotbox the back of
his cab with his mates.

136
00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:37,400
Legend! You need to be more like
him.

137
00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:39,440
Anyway, Ash, these aren't that
strong, are they?

138
00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:45,680
OK, fine. An edible. Yes!

139
00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:50,000
I've set a timer, so... On your
marks... Get set...

140
00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:52,040
Go!

141
00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:54,480


142
00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:57,120

got visas in my name

143
00:07:57,160 --> 00:08:00,320

them all day

144
00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:02,600

want

145
00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:04,640


146
00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:06,680
BANGING

147
00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:09,680

do is...

148
00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:11,160
BANGING

149
00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:14,000


150
00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:16,040


151
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:18,080
Enjoy your food.

152
00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:21,120


153
00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:23,160
BANGING

154
00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:26,760
MUSIC SLOWS AND DISTORTS

155
00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:36,720
Do you understand? This is not
theatre.

156
00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:43,280
You always invented an easier way
of doing uni work which was somehow
genius.

157
00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:46,240
Do you think Tim's going to know
we've just written up

158
00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:48,880
a Judge Rinder case rather than
going to court?

159
00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:50,920
Nah.

160
00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:53,400
You haven't actually written any
case notes down.

161
00:08:54,680 --> 00:08:56,680
Who? You.

162
00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:58,720
LAUGHS

163
00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:04,160
Fuck. What? A picture tells a
thousand words.

164
00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:06,640
Well, Tim has a strict 500-word
limit,

165
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:09,280
so you'd better get tearing that in
half.

166
00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:12,720
Since when have you cared about
Tim's briefs, Jack?

167
00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:16,440
I can't stop, Corinne. Cannot stop.

168
00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:19,560
Anyone for another? Oh, yes, please.

169
00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:21,600
Yes!

170
00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:23,640
We are all far too...

171
00:09:23,680 --> 00:09:27,120
Fucked days spent in the pub when we
should have been studying

172
00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:30,520
were something you were always very
good at facilitating.

173
00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:40,760
OK, where the fuck was my invite?

174
00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:44,040
Oh, mate, I'm so sorry, but I know I
was supposed to text you,

175
00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:46,480
but then we all got a bit spaced
out.

176
00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:48,560
Fuck's sake, I said ring me, yeah?
Down in one.

177
00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:52,360
Bye.

178
00:09:53,520 --> 00:09:55,720
Hello, babe. Mwah.

179
00:09:56,720 --> 00:10:00,160
I lied to you. The Welsh word for
pub isn't pub.

180
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,200
It's tafarn.

181
00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:04,320
But I've been in England six months
now.

182
00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:07,080
Google translates all my web browser
favourites because...

183
00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:10,560
I'm losing the grasp of my mother
tongue.

184
00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:12,600
Look, English is my first language,

185
00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:16,200
and I've only just found out today
that the Dean of the uni

186
00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:18,320
isn't just some legendary lad called
Dean.

187
00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:22,880
I was really looking forward to
meeting Deano, you know.

188
00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:24,920
Oh, thanks.

189
00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:49,600
You always knew how to get everyone
in the spirit for a big night out.

190
00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:51,640
ALL SHOUT ENCOURAGEMENT

191
00:10:53,680 --> 00:10:56,640
But you didn't always know where
your limits were.

192
00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:01,240
You all right, Jackie?

193
00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:04,160
I feel wonderful.

194
00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:07,400
Good for you. Oh, how much are you
spending?

195
00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:10,520
Dunno. Student loan, innit? Fuck it,
probably never pay it back.

196
00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:15,160
But what about your meds? Shush.

197
00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:17,680
Won't these drugs - I'm not taking
my meds.

198
00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:20,560
But you said - Jack, just shut the
fuck up, all right?!

199
00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:22,840
You're being a damp cloth AGAIN.

200
00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:25,320
I should have pulled you up on this,

201
00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:28,200
but you had a line, then I had a
line.

202
00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:30,240
Then...

203
00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:32,280
DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

204
00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:34,320
..everyone else did too.

205
00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:50,800
Love you, Yemi!

206
00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:52,840
I need a tactical chunder.

207
00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:55,200
Good for you. I'm proud of you.

208
00:11:58,120 --> 00:12:00,120
Hey.

209
00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:03,240
You all right, mate?

210
00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:05,280
Yeah.

211
00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:07,680
You having fun, yeah?

212
00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:09,720
Yeah, I am.

213
00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:11,760
I actually really am.

214
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:18,360
GLASS CHINKS

215
00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:21,960
I really miss you.

216
00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:24,840
I'm here, mate.

217
00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:27,680
Been watching you, just checking
you're OK.

218
00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:31,680
Cool.

219
00:12:34,440 --> 00:12:36,440
Son...

220
00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:39,520
..you're going to need a poo soon.

221
00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:43,880
But you're going to have to clench
your bumhole really tight.

222
00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:45,920
Just power on through, yeah?

223
00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:49,760
Thanks, Dad.

224
00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:54,040
I love you.

225
00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:56,760
That's nice.

226
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:03,080
THUMPING MUSIC

227
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:10,200
All I told him to do was clench his
bumhole.

228
00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:26,120
I'm going to go and get some more
shots, all right?

229
00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:28,160
I'll be gone two minutes.

230
00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:39,000
Stop it, stop it! Stop it!

231
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:42,120
COMMOTION

232
00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:49,440
MUSIC BLARES

233
00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:52,520
Fuck!

234
00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:00,120
Hey...

235
00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:05,440
Breathe. I'm all right, I'm all
right. Just give me a second.

236
00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:08,600
Fuck's sake. Idiot.

237
00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:10,640
Just breathe.

238
00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:15,280
Sorry. It's fine.

239
00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:17,760
HE EXHALES

240
00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:23,760
ALARM

241
00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:28,440
GASPS

242
00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:33,520
GROANS

243
00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:46,200
GROANS

244
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,000
SIGHS

245
00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:00,880
SIGHS

246
00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:31,440
No no no...

247
00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:33,480
Shit!

248
00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:49,560
KNOCKING

249
00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:53,920
Hello, my babe. Got a surprise for
you.

250
00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:56,040
Alison Hammond back from the dead!

251
00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:59,360
Oh, my God, this place looks like a
bunker!

252
00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:01,920
Jack, you live in a bunker. Thanks.

253
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:04,280
And I found this on the doorstep for
Danny.

254
00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:06,320
Cool, just leave it over there.

255
00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:16,360
GROANS

256
00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:32,400
Are you hung over, my babe?

257
00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:37,960
Very much so.


258
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:40,000


259
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:43,720

his fucking rocker!

260
00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:51,360
RETCHES

261
00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:59,480
And it is exhausting, and I give,
and I give, don't I,

262
00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:01,920
I just give it all to it because I
want it.

263
00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:05,000
I always knew that working in events
was going to be stressful,

264
00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:09,760
but it's a real opportunity to meet
new and interesting people.

265
00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:11,800
You throw children's parties, don't
you?

266
00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:14,960
A person's a person, no matter how
small.

267
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:18,200
That's a quote from Dr Seuss. That's
my favourite celebrity doctor.

268
00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:20,640
Mm. So, where did you go last night?

269
00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:23,600
Just the local pub student night.
Heavy one, was it?

270
00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:26,920
Yeah, we had a heavy one down the
Spoons, didn't we, babe?!

271
00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:29,120
Your mother, she pulled! What?!

272
00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:32,640
No, I didn't. Yes, you did, you
dirty scallywag.

273
00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:35,480
No, I didn't. I think you'll find
you did.

274
00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:40,000
No, I didn't. She got chatted up by
a bloke in bike shorts, right?

275
00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:43,440
He was wearing actual shorts for
biking in.

276
00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:45,880
OK, thank you. That's enough now,
Shannon.

277
00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:49,680
It's just some guy asking me for a
drink. Don't worry.

278
00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:54,760
Oh. Hi.

279
00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:56,800
Hi, my doll. Hi.

280
00:17:56,840 --> 00:17:58,840
Who's this, Jack?

281
00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:02,520
I'm Corinne. Corinne!

282
00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:04,560
That is such a pretty name.

283
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:06,960
Ain't that such a pretty name, Pegs?

284
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:09,000
Such a pretty name.

285
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:11,040
For such a pretty girl.

286
00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:13,520
Aw, that was Jack's dad's jumper.

287
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:16,040
Yeah. You look gorgeous in it.

288
00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:18,880
Sorry, Mum, but you can't just visit
here whenever.

289
00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:20,920
Wow. That was really rude.

290
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:57,400
All right, lad?

291
00:18:57,440 --> 00:19:00,040
Hello, you.

292
00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:02,120
Where have you been? I stayed at
Leisa's last night.

293
00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:07,240
See you got a new Alison. That's
good.

294
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:15,520
Danny, I did something really,
really bad.

295
00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:19,600
Oh, God. Not you too.

296
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:23,600
I ate a candle.

297
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:26,640
I just must have had such the
munchies,

298
00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:28,680
I just ate a fucking candle.

299
00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:33,080
Oh, mate, that's actually the best
thing you've ever done.

300
00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:36,200
What was your something bad?

301
00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:40,320
It doesn't matter. Oh, go on.

302
00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:42,360
What was it?

303
00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:51,520
Are you all right?

304
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:58,200
No, not really.

305
00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:02,560
Not really at all, mate.

306
00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:08,080
Um...

307
00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:10,880
do you want to get some fresh air?

308
00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:12,920
Yeah. Yeah, that'd be nice.

309
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:18,240
I've actually got some bed sheets I
need to bury.

310
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:26,560
I binned my meds off around
Christmas.

311
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:29,800
I had to put my nan into a care
home, which was hard.

312
00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:31,840
And then last week, I get this
letter off Tim

313
00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:34,800
saying I've breached my scholarship
for not handing work in.

314
00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:36,840
Idiot.

315
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:41,360
I just wanted to be like this normal
guy at uni, do you know what I mean,

316
00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:45,320
who got drunk, and high, and got
fucking raging hard-ons.

317
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:50,040
Now I just want a text from my nan.

318
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:52,080
I'm sure she'll text you.

319
00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:58,040
Do you know when we first met, I
added you on Facebook?

320
00:20:58,080 --> 00:21:00,080
Had a little snoop. Of course.

321
00:21:00,120 --> 00:21:03,360
Same. And I was going through your
photos, and saw you had this, like,

322
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:06,160
17th or something, had this big
party in the garden

323
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:08,440
with, like, all your family, and a
massive cake.

324
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:11,040
Costco cake. Got to have the cake
from Costco.

325
00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:14,320
I wouldn't know. I've had, like,
three parties my whole life.

326
00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:18,760
They've all ended in either a row,
me spending the night in Margate
nick,

327
00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:21,160
or today, quite literally covered in
my own shit.

328
00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:25,880
Today? Why didn't you say something?

329
00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:28,960
We could have thrown you a party. I
don't want a party, mate.

330
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,000
I just want to get a text from my
nan.

331
00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:37,600
That's why I wanted to get fucked up
last night,

332
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:40,000
so I could just sleep through today,
because I knew

333
00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:42,680
if she forgot to text, it's because
she's got worse.

334
00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:48,520
I didn't always know what to say,

335
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:50,880
I hadn't thought of you then as
someone

336
00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:53,400
who'd been struggling quite as bad
as me.

337
00:21:57,080 --> 00:21:59,080
Ah!

338
00:21:59,120 --> 00:22:01,240
I also think I'm on a major
comedown.

339
00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:05,920
Think so too. I just want a double
sausage egg McMuffin.

340
00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:09,600
Why don't they serve them after
half-ten? It's fucked.

341
00:22:12,360 --> 00:22:14,360
Box came for you.

342
00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:27,160
Jules would often check the uni
database of all her favourite
students,

343
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:29,200
and send them a birthday cake.

344
00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:39,240
Fuck yes! 82!

345
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:41,280
That's what I'm fucking talking
about.

346
00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:45,560
See, not so bad when you actually
hand it in.

347
00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:49,000
Yeah, thanks, Tim. Why am I one mark
off a first?

348
00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:51,040
Because I can do whatever I want.

349
00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:00,160
Lighten up, pal. Have a muffin.

350
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:04,920
They're all gone. Shouldn't be.
There were five left after that
night.

351
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:08,520
THEY CACKLE

352
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:12,200


353
00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:16,000

I try to give you up

354
00:23:17,360 --> 00:23:21,200

you're in my blood

355
00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:25,880

this love

356
00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:30,040

you're in my blood

357
00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:34,000

I try to give you up

358
00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:41,360

you're in my blood...

359
00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:43,400
Subtitles by Red Bee Media